I think we mistakenly expect life to be easy. We expect things to work out, that the traffic lights will all stay green and the barista will get my coffee order right and my internet will work whenever I command it to. So when it isn't easy and there is delay or problems, we get frustrated. Because we want control. As long as things are easy, I feel like I am in control, but as soon as something doesn't go my way, I have to face the reality that I am not in control at all.
I am so thankful for those moments. The moments of greatest frustration are actually an invitation to look up. To get my eyes off my circumstances and to look to the one who holds ALL things in the palm of His hand.
"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
Colossians 1:17 NIV
I like control and if we are being honest, sometimes control controls me. I have tried to control so much in my life and it only results in greater frustration. The tighter the grip the less I am able to move freely in what God actually has for me.
My youngest son and I were talking at bedtime the other night about kids at school. He was bothered by some friend's tendency to use profanity. We began to talk about how everyone has something they struggle with, a weakness, so we cannot judge others, but simply pray for them and continue to ask God to change our own hearts. I asked him, "so what is Mommy's weakness?" And he didn't even hesitate when he said, "You worry a lot."
OUCH.
But he is exactly right. And it has kept me from walking in freedom for far too long. So I am letting go and asking God to teach me how to walk in greater freedom with Him. I have been hesitant to write what He has been putting on my heart. But I am going to stop trying to control and just go where God is leading.